Day 6

I just want to see and walk the the victim personality in me ,because this play  big role in my life.

This victimization I can see was formed from childhood .When I was a child I was sick a lot and my parents and grandparents were always felt sorry for me ,I was excuse a lot ,because I was sick and many times like  the  the idea that somebody baby me.

They did help me from a perspective of poor me ,she is week and sick.The one coin of this personality is that I really never took responsibility  for me .I always had some back up,somebody always rescue me .This form in me the point of not trusting myself ,constant feeling of being un sure of myself ,and of course how can I be sure if I always had a help,….This also form a point of not making a decision on my own,waiting for somebody ,waiting for life ,waiting to  the last minute ,when pretty much I just have to move right or left……

I did create strong victim personality….

Being in this world and the system also playing the game of winning and losing …..,when came the point of losing I experience anger with in me.

What I observe in me that whenever I have stressful situation in my life I always get sick…..it is like when I really do  not want to  take responsibility for my action…I end up sick .This is like my last resort ….to get sick and then somebody need to help me.

When I see situation thru my mind that  is too big to handle or I have no idea how to go about it….I end up sick….

So I want to walk the process of self forgiveness on this:

1.I forgive myself to accept  and allowed myself to exist in this point of being a victim,of not taking the stands for me.

2.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself always looking for help , seeing thru my mind perspective something sooooo biggg,that I can not handle.

3.I forgive myself to accept  and allowed myself depend on opinion of others ,because I do not trust me ,which is so absurd ,because I am here ,I am breathing ,I am moving ,so why do I keep this assumption that somebody know more ,that somebody know better,…and it may be thru that they know better ,but this is there knowledge ,they walk the process in their lives  …and I must walk the process in my life.We walk the life together and alone….,so responsibility have to be alone and together.

4.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself to play the game of inferiority and superiority ,not realizing that this is the polarity game of my mind ,and mind exist in energy of this polarity.

5.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself to never take new opportunity  of anything  unless I feel that I can lean  on somebody,…..for looking always for somebody support ,not realizing that  because of this I wan't be able to trust me ,because I do not stand up for me ,with me alone.

6.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself to abdicate my responsibility for me and live in this victim personality.

7.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself to see this world thru my mind game ,to  not realizing that the real life is in physicality ,in breathe.

8.I forgive myself to accept and allowed myself to feel that  it is too late for me to change this victim personality ,because its such a big part of me ,that is too big ….,not realizing that I am the one who did create this and I am the one who can change it ….the one who can Stand Up.

9.I commit myself to stop this personality ,victim personality ,with every breathe,with being here in physical reality,moving slowly in physical reality .

10.I commit myself to stop blaming anybody ,especially my parents for this victim personality ,to start taking responsibility form me from Now On.

11.I commit myself to stand up for me ,to stop winning about what was in the past,to not waste any more tome on this,but breathe and direct myself with awareness of physical reality.

           Thank You for reading!!